i put my trust in you...

pushed as far as i can go. for all this, there's only one thing you should know...

i tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. i had to fall and lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

CP: what do you think?
Friday, November 2, 2001.12:11 a.m..comment:

i still have two more tests.

two more tests until i am free. free to enjoy life and all of its possibilities. and i finally get to go rollerskating! i've been yapping about it for the past year, and now i finally get to go! honestly, i don't know who benefits more from this whole mentoring thing - me or caitlin.

oh yeah, for those not in the know, i mentor a 10 year old girl at one of the local elementary schools. i've been doing it for the past year, and it is so worth my while. she's a great kid ^_^ and tomorrow night, i'm taking her and a couple of her friends skating! yaya! i swear, i have so much fun with them... last time, my whole crew and her whole crew all went to showbi..i mean, chucky cheese's and had an absolute blast! oh goodness... i would love to be ten years old again... oh wait, nevermind... 10 was a bad year for me... i'd love to be seven again ^_^

hooray for friday afternoon rolling around!

CP: dangermouse theme
Thursday, November 1, 2001.05:59 p.m..comment:

i so sleepy!

i know that trying to write a japanese composition in karl's room is about as futile as trying to convince josh that lara fabian is indeed NOT the guiding force behind the universe, and yet i still persist in such useless efforts.

and what am i supposed to do now that i've won cord's soul in bet? what does one do with a soul anyway? suggestions?

so yeah, time to flip the mad fiend switch and start studying. turns out, not only do i have two tests before saturday, but in fact have three - one crept up unbeknownst to me (but knownst to the perceptive japanese student). boo hiss.

is it my imagination, or does subinev (bryan) change his splash screen more often than most people do socks? and in other 'net-esque news, ryan's been making pumpkin carving patterns and now has one for the boogie man from the nightmare before christmas (and i love-love that movie!)

okay, enough putzing around on this computer... time to research! woot. i love college...

CP: in the end - linkin park
Wednesday, October 31, 2001.03:40 p.m..comment:

i am freezing.

i undestand the need for keeping a computer lab cold, but good grief! i am almost willing to build a bonfire in the trash can under the desk at this point.

due to karl being a complete meanie, bryant called while we were all downstairs watching angel last night. everyone just gave me their cheesiest grin as karl handed me my cell phone. and it must mean something if i'm actually willing to walk out of the room to talk to him while angel is on - people have tried to talk to linny and me while we're watching and come out of it with bruises. i don't know about during buffy, tho. maybe i'll just leave my phone on silent in order to avoid ever having to find out. ^_~

i should be studying like a mad fiend, but have been chattin on aolim with doris since this morning. i really do wish i could somehow manage to save up enough money to go to hong kong and visit her. that would so be cool! and speaking of foreign travel, i'm having major doubts about doing study abroad again this summer. i mean, i would love to be back in japan, but even if i did get scholarships to cover the cost, my bank account still hasn't recovered from last summer, so i should probably just work all summer and save my money. maybe i could go visit karl in hakodate if he goes. i mean, hakodate is where i want to be more than any place else anyhow. hmm, i guess i still have plenty of time to consider options.

i hate all of this thinking about my future. i know graduation is still a year and a half away, but as far as deciding whether to double major or not, i just don't know. i have to hurry up and decide soon, however, because otherwise my undergraduate career will end in a year instead. and i'd much rather see the whole four years through with the rest of the royal four - although linny's going to be interning her last semester, so i don't know if that really counts.

and why is the week moving so slowly? and why do i have to have two tests at the end? good thing i get to go home and have some yummy food prepared by my mom, otherwise i'd be irate!

i swear, i must be the most impatient person ever! well boo... guess i'll manage though. ^_^
Tuesday, October 30, 2001.10:51 a.m..comment:

i am all smiley now.

it's been a rather interesting fall break so far. lin and i left wednesday afternoon to head first to her house and then to steven's. he was happy to see us, and oh my goodness, does he have the most amazing apartment ever ever. it almost makes me want to become a music major and transfer to columbus... almost. steven's roommate is also equally amazing - what a set of pipes that boy has! he can sing soprano for crying out loud! i also approve of steven's girlfriend, who is loads of fun, and her and i working together managed to dump steven rather unceremoniously into a fountain on thursday evening. *tee hee* i'm still incredibly sad that i don't have steven at uga, but he's doing so well for himself in columbus that i know that's where he belongs, so am immensely happy for him.

we left friday afternoon to head back to linny's house, and i almost left cord's book sitting up in steven's apartment, which would've sucked big time. cord would've sprayed me with windex again or something. speaking of those books, the harry potter series is absolutely wonderful! they're so funny!! i just finished reading the third book and was completely surprised by the ending. i just can't predict these books... can't wait 'til the movie comes out.

but what was i talking about? oh right... went back to lin's and hung around with the family for a bit. her dad is oh-so-amusing... then we left for karl's house.

i finally got to see the nerd store that i hear so much about (eep! preposition...), as well as mark and bryant's apartment. they've got one of those creepy tree spirits from mononoke himei in one of their fake trees... *shudders*.

speaking of bryant, we tried all night to get in touch with him (which is why we went to the apartment in the first place), but to no avail. karl, linny, mark, and i ended up going to see thirteen ghosts as just the four of us. what an unnerving movie, by the way. i could hardly watch the entire screen for fear of acting like josh *smirk*. i don't think we'll ever take him to see that movie. i'm fairly sure he wouldn't recover from all of the shocks.

we sat around in mark's apartment afterwards, where i unearthed a plushie ryo-ohki and some neato card captor sakura stuff (and i do really mean "unearthed"). we hung around 'til one, then left to head back to karl's to get the truck and head home. however, bryant called as we were making our way back to karl's, and he ended up coming out there to meet us, which made me happy *smile*. he's such a sweetheart *more smile*. i felt horribly keeping lindsey out so late (although she said that she really didn't mind). i also felt bad for keeping bryant out in the cold as he and i talked. *tilts head to one side thoughtfully* it was nice though, just to be able to kinda talk to him - even if it was only for a few minutes.

at any rate, linny and i didn't get home 'til 3 in the morning. we crashed on the couches, then had to relocate in the morning as the dog was let into the house - great big lumbering idiot. he could knock over small midgets with that great big thumping tail of his.

and then as i was getting ready to leave, i did the quite possibly stupidest thing i've ever done. i became seriously convinced that i'd locked my keys in my trunk the night before when i'd been getting some stuff out. turns out that i wasn't quite that stupid, but i might as well have been. *sighs* i'm such a disgrace to femalekind sometimes... oh well, at least i know i can pick my car lock whenever i need to - i've had enough practice by now.

and now i'm gonna go out to eat with my mom & co. maybe i'll get around to doing something academic tomorrow. i wouldn't bet on it, though.
Saturday, October 27, 2001.04:28 p.m..comment:

i am still pinwheeling.

it's probably because i know for a fact that once i settle in and start studying for those two huge tests, life will suck again and won't get any better until i'm on the road headed to columbus.

and i'm now convinced that everyone needs a weblog, because that way we'd all know what we're all thinking so there wouldn't be the need for any guess work. granted, that would make life extremely boring... okay, we'll just strike that whole idea from the record.

i was supposed to be studying last night, but let's be honest... when have i actually ever followed through on study plans? instead, i floundered about for a bit, flitting between playing smash bros. and linny's room. settling in my room would've meant studying, so i was having none of that. after watching angel with linny, josh found his way upstairs (i dimly perceived him trying to visit while angel was on, but i think he must've thought better of it and left to try again afterwards - smart boy) and eventually karl wandered up as well, so we all sat around and had a nice little chat. i don't think we really do that all that much anymore. just the four of us, that is... (well, amanda was there as well, but...) hmm... i kinda miss all of that.

and somewhere in between, i got a chance to talk to steven for a while. i was going to wait until we were in columbus to have a one-on-one with him in person, but thought better of it since we really wouldn't have time for such a thing. it was good to talk to him again, like it used to be before everything got so topsy-turvy. it drives me in circles everytime i think about it. and these conversations have been popping up more frequently as of late. coming back from japan, all of my guards were down because more than anything i just wanted things to be okay between everyone this year. and somewhere between catching up socially and academically, i never found my own footing and balance, so have been scrambling to stay sane. and suddenly half of the semester is gone, and i feel so wretchedly and irrevocably... well, lost.

but cruel reality rears its ugly head, and the fact remains that i still have two huge tests tomorrow, one for which i am woefully unprepared. so instead of working out all of the things rising inside, they get stuffed back into that little-bitty box marked "deal with at later date" so that i can go on functioning, as though nothing ever happened.

*cringe* sometimes i hate the sound of my own words. i should write melodramas for a living - somehow, i think i might have a knack for it.
Tuesday, October 23, 2001.10:58 a.m..comment:

i am so silly...tee hee hee...

i was looking at some of karl's old posts because i was couldn't quite remember what he had said about cord at first. tee he he... here's the quote that's making me laugh:

"Cord and Geo acted like an old married couple. They made me laugh. Neither of them could say anything without the other looking at them funny and cracking a joke. Nice guys tho. I'm not sure that they're any of my friends' types though. Lindsey wouldn't mind them. Stephanie would probably get along well with Cord or Geo, but I don't know if there'd be any connection... I can't really say anything about Clay because he's pretty quiet. *shrug* We'll see."
o ho ho ho... *hides mouth behind back of hand* we'll see indeed.

which reminds me... cord finally rented sneakers last night. maybe not the best acting ever, but still a very good spy movie. ^_^
Monday, October 22, 2001.09:56 a.m..comment:

i think i'm suffering from sensory overload.

"the weekend" was this past weekend. my house filled up with about 17 rowdy college students, and all of the guys that came are the huggy type, which didn't bother me in the slightest. i feel like i've been hug-deprived lately. i think, or at least hope, that everyone had fun. it's always a strange mix of people probably because i have such a wide range of friends, so it's always interesting to see how people interact. and always pleasing when everyone (for the most part) gets along.

michael finally came this time, which really made me happy. he had projects to work on last year that kept him away, but i knew he'd enjoy hiking around in the middle of nowhere. i'm always glad when i get to see michael and nathan and tracy for extended periods of time. they only live in the next building over from me, but it's still enough of a determent that i only see them once in a while, which is a shame, because they're such good people.

half of us ate at richard's on friday night, which wasn't the best food ever, but brought back a lot of good memories for me. i always feel like i should be washing dishes when i eat there, and probably would have if not for my friends being there. then after the other half of the people arrived at my house, we went down to the park to recapture our childhood. we never did play capture the flag, but instead ended up at the guidestones again to see the stars. fine by me - i don't think i ever appreciated the view of the stars from out in the country until i realized you can't see them in town at all.

we came back to the house and began to try and figure out sleeping arrangements, which was an adventure all its own. i ended up between karl and randall, which was a really stupid move on my part. i love both of them dearly, but one can only take so much poking and prodding before one feels the urge to rip out spleans.

saturday morning, i woke extremely early and helped mom cook until noon. i've always enjoyed being able to cook with her - she's such a good mommie ^_~ and it never fails to amaze me that something that took 4 hours of preparation is gone within 20 minutes. at least everyone seemed to enjoy the food.

after lunch (and a 15 minute wrestling match with michael, that ended in draw simply because i'm stubborn), half of the crew headed back to uga to do various things, and the rest of us left for the middle of nowhere. i finally managed to make it up that silly river just on the rocks - granted, i had to ford my way through one part, but darn it i perservered!

everyone else left after getting back to the house, and linny and i left a couple of hours later. we arrived back in athens to find karl, josh, mark, and bryant sitting around watching tv downstairs. after watching press your luck (i watch it solely for the whammies!) we decided to go to blockbuster and get a movie. well, we ended up with the tailor of panama, and after talking through the first 20 minutes, we decided to put in something good such as spaceballs - that movie amuses me to no end. i really do think bill pullman is the cutest thing ever ^_^

and of course we played smash bros. after the movie. and i beat cord!!! granted, he was playing as ness, and i harbor bitterness for that little punk, but lins actually won against him when he was kirby!! and you'd better believe we rubbed it in - tee hee! when we finished playing and other assorted things (such as linny getting attacked by karl and randall for the nth time), it was almost late enough that we could get breakfast at krystal's (which is oh-so-yum), except that when we got to krystal's, they weren't ready to serve breakfast yet and said it would be 20 minutes. so cord decides to drive around for a bit, and we end up on the other side of town (no matter how you say it, the mall is not near campus - cord's delirious that early in the morning...) at krispy kreme so cord can get his one hot donut right off of the conveyor. silly boy.

then we finally got our breakfast, and i'm impressed that josh managed to stay out that late. i didn't get into bed until 6 and of course slept through most of sunday (and am likewise impressed that cord did not).

so yeah, it was a really good weekend. only had the urge to call jamie once, when we were headed out to the guidestones. and yeah, i realize that i left out some stuff, but people actually read this weblog. however, i would be happy to see mark and bryant transfer to uga. they're good people, and it would definitely make karl happy to have some of his infamous boys up here. and i know that bryant is (for the most part) a big flirt, which is fine by me. but apparently i'm enough of a flirt myself to match him for it so far. and it was a lot more flirting than i'm normally used to, but it was fun and just so... nice (for lack of a better descriptive term). so yeah, if nothing else, i would like to see him back here again. *pause*

i hate being so girly sometimes. i think i need to go play with legos or something. or maybe i'll just go on the habitat build - it's like the college-age version of legos. *smirk*
Monday, October 22, 2001.08:27 a.m..comment:

06.18.01...07.02.01 - japan...start
07.03.01...07.10.01 - japan
07.11.01...07.21.01 - japan
07.22.01...07.28.01 - japan
07.29.01...07.31.01 - japan
08.01.01...08.02.01 - japan...minato matsuri
08.03.01...08.03.01 - japan
08.04.01...08.05.01 - japan...aomori
08.06.01...08.17.01 - japan
08.18.01...08.19.01 - japan...final

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