i can't speak l33t sp34|<.

and karl's latest post gives me a huge headache. it's probably not a good sign that i can actually read it though. geez... i really am just a dork in gap clothing.

randall's evil. he does things he doesn't mean. you just can't toy with girls like that.

went and saw rush hour 2 tonight. tee hee... silly movie. i enjoyed it an awful lot though. jackie chan amuses me to no end.

yeah, so i was playing around on the harry potter website and went to find out my official sorting. would you believe that i was put in slytherin? slytherin... i honestly would've thought ravenclaw... maybe i'm more conniving than i thought. *contemplates*

and why does cord have the boniest elbows in existence? i think i'm going to have bruises... boo...

hmm... getting late... so sleepy. hooray for saturday! i finally get to sleep in! wahoo!

CP: blow my whistle - utada hikaru
Saturday, November 10, 2001.03:27 a.m..comment:

i didn't sleep much,

but for some reason, i still dreamed. and when my alarm went off this morning around 7, at first i couldn't quite remember what i had dreamed about. eventually (i.e. 30 minutes later) i got up to start throwing myself together and head off to work, and then i suddenly remembered what. it was my dad. and i don't remember when, if ever, i've dreamed about that. and what caused it? ...so now i just feel disconnected. it's only 8:30, and i'm already feeling separated from reality. part of me thinks i should just admit defeat now and head back to bed.

and in that, i agree with karl. dreams in general are so very preferable to reality. no hurt, no consequence, no finality. there's a lot of times when i would rather be dreaming, but it doesn't matter, because i still feel compelled to live in reality, as much as it may suck at times. given the choice, i would still take reality.

i almost can't believe i just said that...

and my other concerns from last night? i can basically narrow it down to two things: 1) stop now or 2) try. all of those defense mechanisms that have built up over the years have been yelling at me to stop since the beginning. but it's okay. things as they are now (while not exactly ideal for either one) are good. so i'll take things as they are... see how things go. no demands, no expectations... if it turns into something more than it is now, great... if not, then that's okay too.

can i live with that decision? the more i think about it, the more i think i can. i feel better about things this morning, at any rate. ^_^ good deal...

now i'll just forget my dream and have a good day... yeah...

CP: canta per me - yuki kajiura
Friday, November 9, 2001.08:38 a.m..comment:

i hate macs.

well, maybe more specifically i hate this particular one at work. quite possibly the most unreliable computer i've ever met. grr...argh...

holy crap... my brother found this on one of the bbs that he visits. it's a monty python lego movie! 'tis so funny!

and darn my luck. if it's not pitas that's down, then it's arches (where all the images for this page are hosted). double boo hiss.

in other journally news, things are seemingly mellow all across the board. everyone seems to be kinda uneasy and on guard or whatnot, but no one's been jumping down anyone's throat, so i suppose that's a good thing. hopefully, all and any situations can wait until after this semester or even longer before becoming too problematic. in my case, i'm hoping for any misgivings or whatever it is to be cleared up. i don't know... i just so want to make it all work.

and in asb related news, i'm so glad i got stuck with brad. he's seriously a fun person, and hopefully we'll both be able to overcome our slacker tendancies to put together a good trip for all involved. i told him he couldn't share a bed with any of the girls on the trip... too afraid he might deflower them (just kidding ^_~). at any rate, he's not sleeping with me, no matter how charming he might think he is. *laughs*

oh well... time for class... and here's hoping i get my risk management double major!
Thursday, November 8, 2001.02:40 p.m..comment:

i love japanese.

i was looking up song lyrics this morning and came across the cutest sd version of takanori nishikawa. he's such a cutie pie!

oh, and because i haven't noted before, everyone seems to have suddenly jumped on the online journal bandwagon. and i guess mine is falling into that category more often than not these days. the content isn't exactly deserving of the title "weblog" any longer. i wonder how yoshikazu is taking all of this?

but what was i talking about? oh, people who have online journals. over at livejournal, there are now katie and josh, and randall has one over at opendiary.

holy crap, my head hurts... i just realized... i must have a bruise on top or something. must be from wha-cracking my head on cord's loft. i swear, i think every single one of us has run into that stupid thing at least once. just another concussion story to add to my list i suppose.

cord and karl started discussing nerd games last night. i've always teetered on the edge of actually trying to play one all my life (my brother's fault - he started it... he played robotech ones back in texas), but if mark and bryant really do move into the dorm next semester, i think i'm pretty much doomed. *slumps in defeat* these boys are just bad for my health.

why hello there papercut! i hate working in the print room... sheesh...

relationships (in general, not just mine) baffle me. it seems so much like a game in some respects - trying to figure out what your next move is, or whose turn it is for that matter, interpreting signals, so much uncertainty on everyone's part. should you keep the other guessing or just be honest? and what in the world is it that causes you to become so weak in the knees about one person, but not others? so bizarre... i've always had a million questions, and i don't really expect any answers... ever. i guess i just like to muse about things.

keeps me from having to think about the ever-looming presence of schoolwork, at any rate. ^_^

CP: kaze ga fuku hi - maaya sakamoto
Tuesday, November 6, 2001.08:51 a.m..comment:

i should be asleep.

in all honesty, i should be worse off than dead-tired right now, but i've been putting off posting all day. not for lack of trying, mind you. i've sat down about four different times today, determined to post about the weekend, but continually find that words fail me.

this is almost pointless... i've been sitting down here for the past fifteen minutes trying to figure out what to say, and it's just useless. my mind keeps wandering away, unwilling to focus on any thought long enough to make it coherent. where to even start? the past week was horrid - compounded by the fact that i was so looking forward to the weekend. i finally made it through, contrary to popular belief, and had a blast roller-skating on friday night. apparently, it's kinda like riding a bicycle, because after one or two turns around the rink, i found my balance again and was happily zooming around for the rest of the night.

consequently, i was completely worn out when i arrived back at the dorm that night. so without a whole lot of ado, i went to sleep around midnight (which is way earlier than normal).

and saturday finally arrived. mark and bryant got here in the early afternoon, and we all crammed into karl's car to go to applebee's together. it was just a good afternoon - we ate, played smash bros., and generally just hung around downstairs. eventually, we decided to go see monsters inc. what an incredibly cute movie! i think we were all well pleased by it.

we came back to the dorm to do some more hanging around, including watching rocky horror, which was made even more hilarious by the presence of abie (who knows audience participation lines for the movie - she's a regular pro). the easiest way to describe abie is to tag on "karl's sister" to her name, but i know how irritating that can be, due to the fact that i was tagged with "chris's sister" for the better part of middle school, and aside from that, abie is perfectly deserving of her own unique description - she's good people ^_^

sunday morning came, and it was most unwelcome. i was thoroughly put out with the sun - it absolutely refused my request to not rise that morning and leave things as they were...

mark and bryant left that afternoon, and of course i was saddened to see them go. mark's just lots of fun to hang around, and bryant... well, he's sort of a matter altogether separate, and unsurprisingly, i find myself somewhat unable to talk about it. maybe it's just hard to put into words.

but maybe some things are just better left unsaid... or at least, should be said in person.

i am fairly silly, aren't i...

a very spectacular weekend. i am well pleased, but do wish that another weekend would roll around again. either that, or just give me this weekend to relive. ^_~
Monday, November 5, 2001.01:25 a.m..comment:

06.18.01...07.02.01 - japan...start
07.03.01...07.10.01 - japan
07.11.01...07.21.01 - japan
07.22.01...07.28.01 - japan
07.29.01...07.31.01 - japan
08.01.01...08.02.01 - japan...minato matsuri
08.03.01...08.03.01 - japan
08.04.01...08.05.01 - japan...aomori
08.06.01...08.17.01 - japan
08.18.01...08.19.01 - japan...final

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2001 stephanie fullbright
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